Peeecan piiiiee.

Ok, enough about slugs already. On to cooking again!

I made a great discovery the other day at a local bookstore. I stumbled across a marvelous cookbook called "Bite Me." Seriously, how could I resist?! (As a quick aside here, I hope you all know that you can take an "Eat More" candy bar and fold the wrapper a la Al Jaffe's fold-in at the back of Mad Magazine and make it say "Eat Me." Just putting that out there. This kind of knowledge should not be lost.)

ANYWAY, the book instantly captivated me with its campy photos and interesting recipies (Brandy, if you happen to read this, I think you'll really dig the pics in this book. Just so you know!). The cash register started ringing as soon as I turned to the pecan pie page and found the recipe I've been looking for these past few months. I've really had a hankering for pecan pie lately. And not just because it's an excuse to talk like Billy Crystal and say "Peeeecan piiiee" like in When Harry Met Sally. (If you're prone to being annoying like me, this is a perfect opportunity to push the envelope.) I have no shortage of pecan pie recipes in stock, but none of them managed to captivate me and hit the inspiration button. Even Edna Lewis's recipe didn't yield an immediate "Ah ha!" and that's saying something.

The key to this pecan pie recipe is that it has three stages instead of the usual two (genius!). The first is the pie crust. The second is the filling. And the third, the innovation, is the topping. The topping stage is what is missing from most other recipes. This way, you can chop the pecans for a smooth filling, and then add big honking ones on top later for a nice look and a cool pecaney crust on top. Oh yeah. So here we go. Start by heating your oven to 350.

Now, the pie crust. You'll need 1 1/2 cups of flour, 1/2 tsp of salt, 2 tablespoons of sugar, 1/2 cup of butter, and 4 tablespoons of cold water (put a bunch of cool water and a tablespoon in a measuring cup and use it when called for).

The basic idea behind pie crust is to create a dough with little blobs of butter hidden in it. This way, when it bakes, the butter melts under the dough and makes a nice flaky crust. The key is to keep the butter cool as you mix so that it doesn't just smear around and make a paste. You also don't want to work the dough too much, or it will start forming gluten (like bread dough) and get all tough. So, with that in mind...

Combine the flour, salt, and sugar.

Add the butter and cut it into chunks.

Then take a pastry cutter and mash the butter in until you stop making progress and the thing gets all clogged up.

Then, take the best tool in the kitchen (your hands) and pinch around in the dough until the butter is well broken up and distributed fairly evenly. If you have hot hands like me, be careful not to let it get all greasy -- stop when it's good enough!

Now for the water. Gradually add your four tablespoons, stirring the dough with a fork each time. Once it's all in there, keep stirring and mashing the dough around until there is no "dust" (i.e. loose flour) left. Some of the water will hide in big blobs of dough, so break these up with your fork to release the water and get it evenly distributed. 

When you're worn out by the fork work, get your hands in there and mash the dough into a ball.

Then lightly dust a work surface. (How do you like my funky rolling pin from Slovenia?)

And roll the dough out until...

...it's big enough to overhang your pie plate by at least an inch.

Trim the dough so it has 1 inch extra.

Then gently lift it, set it in the pie plate, and pinch the overhang under to make a nice edge.

Now pop the pie crust in the freezer (good luck finding space) while you prepare the filling. (This is another of the neat things about this recipe. You don't need to wrap the dough in plastic and stick in in the fridge forever before rolling it out. I'm a big fan of avoiding plastic, so this makes the whole recipe even greater.)

Ok...on to the filling. This requires 4 large eggs, 1 cup of corn syrup, 1/2 cup of brown sugar, 3 tablespoons of melted butter, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 1/4 teaspoon of salt, and 1 cup of coarsely chopped pecans. (You may notice a bottle of bourbon in the background. I switched that for the vanilla -- with maybe a splash extra :D It isn't the most brilliant thing to do to change a recipe you haven't even tried yet, but a) I really wanted bourban pecan pie, and b) well, that's just the kind of guy I am.)

You can melt the butter over the oven vent on the stove (there is enough heat coming up there). Don't throw this pot in the sink after you're done with the butter, you can use if for the topping too.

Mix all the filling ingredients except the pecans.

Chop the pecans if you haven't yet.

Then stir them in.

Pull your pie crust out of the freezer. Pour your filling inside and put the whole thing in the oven for 45 minutes. (You'll notice the pie is on a cookie sheet. This is a good idea. I don't know if you've ever made one of these before, but the filling tends to puff up into a frothy molten goo that you really don't want dripping onto the bottom of your oven. It didn't happen much with this pie -- more kudos to the recipe --, but it's a good idea to take the precaution.)

While the pie is baking, you can get the topping ready. (Ok, this takes a lot of dishes, but common, it's totally worth it!) The topping requires 1 1/2 cups of pecan halves, 1/3 cup of brown sugar (lots of sugar, eh? YES!), 3 tablespoons of honey (even more! Oh yeah!), and 3 tablespoons of butter.

Melt the butter with the sugar and honey until combined (again, the oven vent provides enough heat).

Then add your pecans, stir to combine, and remove the pot from the heat. Now, wait til your 45 minutes are done.

When the pie has finished the first 45 minutes, take it out of the oven.

Then gently add the topping mixture. The filling will form a bit of a skin as it cools, so the topping will sit on top. Still, be gentle, since you don't want any molten sugary goo to be splashing around. I found it helpful to use tongs to spread the pecans more-or-less evenly.  Pop it back in the oven for another 15 minutes. The recipe advises to use some foil on the crust if it starts to brown too much, but I didn't have to.

Take the pie out, and now for the hardest part. Let it cool for THREE hours!! Agony! How can I wait?!

Well, one way is to listen to the Bite Me playlist that they have in the cookbook. (How cool is that?!) Some good tunes in there, although I heartily suggest adding Sleepy LaBeef's version of Poke Salad Annie. I accidentally downloaded the JXL Radio Edit Remix of A little less conversation instead of the original, which happened to be a happy mistake.

Another way is to have a beer! I found some nice bottles of Betelgeuse at the LCBO today. It's great. Betelgeuse is the name of a star in the constellation Orion -- it's the red one up at the top. If my astronomy teacher was telling the truth, Betelgeuse is an Arabic name for "armpit of the mighty one!" How's that for a handle?! (I had opened two bottles before realising that these puppies are over 9%, but I had to fill my big glass, so what could I do?) :D

Once you've managed to survive the wait, whip up some bourbon spiked whip cream, slice your pie, and sink your teeth into a happy fork full of bliss. Make a little extra whipped cream, and it might be nice on your coffee in the morning (just sayin'). And when you cut the pie, use your sharpest, thinnest knife -- if you use a big fat chef's knife it will be like using a doorstop and your nice filling will get mushed into a pancake. I hope you are pleased to partake of this peeecaan piiieeee. Now I have to make some paprikash -- so I can put too much peeeper in it, of course!

Peace, y'all.